I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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