oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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