boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
