Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
