all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
