just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm getting married
To pizza
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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