whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize