apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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