remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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