Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
