Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
