okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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