Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm passing your future prison.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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