I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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