Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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