I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
