Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
