..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
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he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again