'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.