South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.