I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
