chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
