Already got asked if we're dating
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
