what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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