Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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