ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
