BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
