CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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