just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
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I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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