Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
