Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
