i was rollin on her like bob the builder
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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