There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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