I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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