I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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