Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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