I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
