It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
