we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
