Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
