I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
