I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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