I just made out with a guy for $7.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
