3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
smell my finger.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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