Jerry, you need to find god
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
