I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize