why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
