worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
