My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
