I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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