i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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