well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm both gender and math confused
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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