I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
