Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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