I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
