My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
