i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I skipped work to stalk him.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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